the love of the Father

Some people have these conversion stories where they can tell people about how God saved them from a life of drugs, lies, etc. and remember the exact date that they gave their lives to Christ.  I honestly cannot remember when I first decided I believed in God and can’t remember not believing that Jesus Christ died for my sins.  Call it growing up in church or whatever you want (I know tons of people who grew up in church and don’t claim to be Christians), but I know that He loves me and saved me.

I have said my whole life that God loves me and I am a child of the King.  I thought I knew what that meant and have tried to love others as He first loved me.

Fast forward to when my daughter was born.  Even though I knew I had a baby in my tummy, could feel her moving around and see my tummy moving involuntarily it wasn’t until I first laid eyes on her and held her in my arms that I had a new meaning of God’s love for me.

God calls us His children and sent His only Son to die for us.  Holding my precious little bundle in my arms gave a whole new meaning to that for me.  I imagined how Abraham must have felt when God gave him Issac after years and years of waiting and then asked him to sacrifice him.  Amazing faith.  I know that God works for our good and I pray that whatever He asks of me I will be able to do it though I cannot imagine the thought of sacrificing my baby.

Then of course there is God watching His Son die on a cross and bear my sins for me… wow.  I cry when my baby hurts herself and cries (sometimes outwardly, sometimes inwardly, but it always hurts me to see her get hurt).  I cannot imagine sacrificing my baby for other people who are like me and sinners who don’t deserve it.

As I said before, I thought I knew.  Then I had a baby and I realized I had NO IDEA and still have no idea how great God’s love is for me – for all of us.  Just thinking about it all is so overwhelming and brings new meaning to everything I read and every song I sing.

Thank you God for your love that I realize now I will never understand the depths of and thank you for giving me all the blessings I do not deserve, especially my beautiful baby girls.